Last night while out cycling, two lines popped into my head. That was the seed. They now form part of a song which was written when I got back (and it’s now in a video below). It’s a lunatic song for a lunatic world.🙃 I wrote it from the point of view of someone who passionately believes that a Digital ID would be a good idea. You know… an empathy thing.😉 It was an amusing experience, as you will see when you read the lyrics/view the video. The melody and format are in the style of “My Old Man’s a Dustman”, a 1956 song from Lonnie Donegan which was in a Cockney skiffle style which I have emulated. Much more detail about the background to it is in the video. I hope it amuses you. Here is the video. The lyrics are beneath the video:

Here are the lyrics:

I ain’t got no identity
I don’t know who I am.
I’m worried that I’ll just turn out
to be a hologram.
So I beg you, Mister Government,
I ask you frantic-ly:
Please will you provide for me
a Digital ID?

I’m worried ‘bout them geezers
wot comes in on them boats.
They’s stealing all our jobs and gaffs,
it’s getting so cutthroat.
So many’s working on the black
we need to flush ‘em out.
We need a Digital ID —
we do… without a doubt!

[Refrain]
Oohh, a Digital ID will come
there’s nothing you can do
It’s all about more freedom
and peace for me and you!

[Sprechstimme]
I say, I say, I say! I luv the guv, don’t U?
Cuddly bunch of fellahs and fellases
working their arses off for you and me
So we can be free… [Wot?]

It’s logical to think that by
having a digi-app
we’ll stop all those boat people
from working on the black.
Cos they all work on the q.t.
in sweatshops in back streets.
They never go through LinkedIn
cos they’re all a bunch of cheats.

Please come & know about me;
‘bout everything I do.
It makes me feeling so secure
to be so loved by you.
I know you’ve got my best interests
at heart, I know you care.
So with you and your business mates
I everything will share.

[Refrain]
Oohh, a Digital ID will come
there’s nothing you can do
It’s all about more freedom
and peace for me and you!

Alright, now listen up…

I know I’ve got a passport
and a driving license too.
But that is not enough ID —
I think it is too few.
I need something substantial
I’m sure you will agree.
So please, guv, will you furnish me
with a Digital ID?

Don’t tell me it’s like Orwell;
he was an anarchist.
His “1984” was only
anti-bolshevist.
If he was still alive today
he’d have Keir Starmer’s back;
he’d support the Digi-ID thing
and from his book backtrack.

[Refrain]
Oohh, a Digital ID will come
there’s nothing you can do
It’s all about more freedom
and peace for me and you!

[Sprechstimme]
I say, I say, I say, Wots wrong with U?
Got something to hide?
If you’ve nothing to hide
you’ve nothing to worry about.
Bunch of middle-class pansies!

Now I am such a good boy;
I do as I am told.
I’ve never ever rocked the boat.
I love to be controlled.
I leave it to the government
to do what they does best.
For ever since I was a kid,
I’ve always acquiesced.

So I support my government;
those people are the best.
Their tireless work for you and me
has me so well-impressed.
They give their all so selflessly
so we can live in peace.
A Digital ID will be
their greatest masterpiece.

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© Copyright, Alan Morrison, 2025
[The copyright on my works is merely to protect them from any wanton plagiarism which could result in undesirable changes (as has actually happened!). Readers are free to reproduce my work, so long as it is in the same format and with the exact same content and its origin is acknowledged]

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